Foundational Learning
The following videos were originally recorded as part of a training series created for 99 Balloons (beFriend), an organization based in Arkansas that has replicated the Do For One model for relationship-building. The content has been repurposed for our use and serves as the equivalent of Do For One’s info sessions and more.
Foundations Part 1: Devaluation & Wounds
Duration: 20 Minutes
Key points:
Tony’s Story – Tony’s life, from institutionalization at Willowbrook to longing for a real home, reveals the deep gap between society’s ideals of inclusion and the reality of exclusion.
Devaluation & Its Expressions – People with disabilities (and others who are ‘devalued’ are often seen as less valuable, leading to harmful stereotypes, segregation, loss of control, and even neglect or abuse.
The Value of Relationships – Freely-given friendships challenge devaluation by restoring dignity, belonging, and hope in ways that institutions and formal paid services cannot.
Key takeaway: Devaluation is the underlying problem that leads to social isolation. When we perceive a person or group as having less value and, therefore, treat them poorly (and differently!) than people who possess characteristics that we, and our culture, value.
Duration: 28 Minutes
Key points:
Ultimately, through these one-to-one, freely-given relationships, we hope that devalued people experience what we call:
The Good Things of Life
To love and be loved
To be safe and secure
To be treated with dignity
To find purpose and work
To have family or close friends
To practice faith in community
To have a true place to call home
Five Core Assumptions or Beliefs to Uphold in Relationship-Building Work
Many needs can only be met through freely-given relationships
People are willing to help for free
Interdependence is desirable
There is mutual reward
Advocacy is sometimes needed
Foundations Part 2: Our Response
Foundations Part 3: Top 5 Pitfalls (for those leading programs)
Duration: 20 Minutes
Key points:
The 5 Most Common Mistakes in Leading Relationship-Building Programs
Reinforcing Negative Stereotypes – Unconsciously reinforcing harmful perceptions through activity choices and segregated settings.
“Ambiguitating” the Problem We Are Addressing – Mistaking disability itself as the issue instead of the deeper problem of social exclusion and isolation.
“Ambiguitating” People’s Roles and Expectations – Blurring the lines between matchmakers (facilitators) and Advocates (relationship-builders), leading to confusion and dependency.
Compensating, Incentivizing, or Rewarding Advocates – Undermining the authenticity of freely-given relationships by offering external incentives like money, credits, or awards.
Pairing People Randomly – Creating unsuccessful matches by failing to align Advocates with the real needs and interests of their Partners.